SECTION ONE OF LETTER
This is the first section of the letter written to PASTOR1. For context the reader should start at the Home Page of this website and then follow the path through various pages to get here.
Hi PASTOR1 –
There is an issue or two which I would like to hear about directly from you.
My wife has told others about the Instagram situation, and based on feedback I have received from others, both orally and in writing, it seems likely that you have misrepresented me and the situation to WIFE. Rather than me getting into details, the most biblical, and most fair thing to you, is for me to come straight to you to ask you what you have been telling WIFE about the Instagram situation. It does seem possible, if the feedback I am getting is accurate, that you have defamed me and mispresented me to WIFE. You have every right to tell me directly all that you have told her, and others
Rather than reinvent the wheel let me just share some information that I shared with my wife, in response to what has gotten back to me. And rather than me listing the ways I have been possibly defamed and harmed I will proceed with providing what I told my wife and then present some questions to you as a way for us to determine exactly what happened.
Here’s what I had to say about me being manipulative:
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I made NO THREATS to expose him
I made no threats to expose him though I did think it was important for CHCC to know about it.
There was nothing manipulative at all
Dictionary.com defines manipulative as “influencing or attempting to influence the behavior or emotions of others for one’s own purposes: “
There was NOTHING manipulative about my email to PASTOR1. I asked for NOTHING from PASTOR1.
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PASTOR1, as proof that I demanded nothing from you and made no threats I have attached my email to you, from April 2019, in which I approached you about your Instagram content. The name of the attachment is “02 - Sad stuff - email to PASTOR1” though of course if you save emails you have a copy of this email as well.
And I further wrote this to my wife:
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I did PASTOR1 a favor
But you know what? I actually did PASTOR1 a favor by going to him privately. If the wrong person got ahold of this information his career could have been destroyed.
And PASTOR1 probably knows that.
Did you know that in his email back to me that same day that He THANKED ME for coming to him? Did you know he acknowledged they contained sexually inappropriate content? Did you know he made no mention to me that I did ANYTHING wrong at all in coming to him?
Should I Be The Austere Man?
There’s that parable where the master was accused of being austere…..so he became austere.
With you and PASTOR1 thinking that I am manipulative or bad for coming straight to him, should I become manipulative and vengeful? Should I just go ahead and become what you are accusing me of?
The LGBTQ community would LOVE to have this information on PASTOR1 and on CHCC. Apparently, someone from the LGBTQ community rushed the stage to attack Steve Walker a while back, and so now he has a form of a “body guard” because CHCC feels like they are a target from that community.
With one simple email I could destroy PASTOR1’s career, PASTOR1’s reputation, PASTOR1’s relationship with his children, and probably the reputation of CHCC in the community because the elders “protected” this behavior and let it happen right under their noses.
Is that what I should do?
If LGBTQ community found out about his hypocrisy on sexual issues, they might be out in front of CHCC with their banners every Sunday. The media would notice. CHCC would lose their voice in the community.
(And besides the militant LGBTQ community how about just plain people who would be upset and disgusted by this?)
CHCC would also lose all standing in counseling circles when others like Paul Tripp, Northwest Family Life counseling, the “Men of Peace” program, ACBC and more learn what exactly PASTOR1 was up to. It’s one thing for a man like PASTOR1 to get involved with sexually inappropriate stuff. It’s serious for a man in that standing but not the end of the world at all. HOWEVER, It would be LIGHTS OUT when they all found out that PASTOR1 is giving himself access to another man’s wife AND USING THAT INFLUENCE TO DISCUSS WITH HER, AND LIE, ABOUT HIS OWN SEXUAL DEVIANCES AND THAT HE SEEKS TO CREATE A WEDGE BETWEEN HER AND HER HUSBAND BECAUSE OF HIS OWN SEXUAL DEVIANCES BEING EXPOSED!
This stuff is unbelievable.
I could destroy PASTOR1’s career and CHCC’s standing in the community in a matter of minutes.
If [REDACTED] think I’m manipulative and vengeful, should I just go ahead and be that?
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PASTOR1, as a reminder, what I came to you about was PUBLICLY KNOWABLE information. We were “friends” (not sure what Instagram calls them) on Instagram and your settings were such that your “friends” could see the accounts that you followed. So I realized by looking at your list of “friends” that that you were following inappropriate content. ANY ONE OF YOUR “FRIENDS” COULD HAVE KNOWN THIS OR DID KNOW THIS AND JUST DID NOT TELL YOU. I did not gain this information by illegal means such as stealing your passwords or your computer; this was all pretty much in the public domain. If your kids were “friends” with you, they could have known the same thing that I found out. If your counselees were “friends” with you, they could have known the same thing that I found out. There was nothing secret about what I came to you about. And inasmuch as it happened outside of counseling hours, outside of the counseling office, after I was fired from the counseling office, and all content was in the public domain – none of the content is privileged or protected.
So clearly, I do not think I was manipulative and vengeful – but if you feel so, then why haven’t you told me directly? What are you telling my wife about me that makes her feel, and communicate to others, that I am being manipulative and vengeful and / or that I owe YOU an apology? If you have told her nothing that would lead her to such conclusions, then this will be resolved very easily by giving me the dates of your conversations with my wife and the subject matter of those conversations.
I take the possible interfering with my wife and my marriage very seriously. Most churches do. I can guarantee you every husband at CHCC would.
I launched a website recently (www.thechurchdoor.com) as a way to highlight church issues.
I realize there are other websites for such purposes including
www.churchwatchcentral.com – but they have a lot of information and specifics and may be hard to find
www.ministrywatch.com – the President of this group was the lead in exposing the abuse at Mars Hill
So I feel having a more concise site could serve a useful purpose, and I have attached two of the posts I made to my own website. One post talks about wolves / predatory men and another post talks about a church who fired a pastor who interfered with other women. I would be interested in your review of these articles.
However, I took all posts down from my own website as the website might be a distraction for now from reconciling my marriage.
I suppose if the need arises, I could get it up and going within 60 minutes [that’s the neat thing about websites].
Now another interesting thing about the Instagram situation, is that, based on feedback I have received, my wife seems to be under the impression that you were following mainly “sailing channels” with the occasional swimsuit girl.
This, of course, is not true and is not consistent with what you confessed to me in your response. Inasmuch as my wife has NOT formed that opinion based on talking with me or based on seeing the information, the logical conclusion is that she based this conclusion on what YOU told her.
Here is part of my response to that, to my wife:
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You should know that PASTOR1 acknowledged to me, in his email reply, that his accounts contained sexually inappropriate images.
And you can see for yourself some of the content in the Instagram accounts which he followed, his screenname was [REDACTED].
I explain below why I still have this document, but as you can see, he followed more than one account that was inappropriate and that contained a fair amount amount of sexually inappropriate content.
It is NOT predominantly sailing channels with the occasional swimsuit girl. I’m confident the men who followed these accounts are far more interested in the women then in sailing. And, if sailing was their / PASTOR1’s true interest, there are far more informative accounts, I’m sure, about sailing. Would it be accurate to say, if anything, some of these accounts are about scantily clad women who sail?
And, in fact 3 or 4 of the accounts are about Fiji – not sailing. And, if you were interested in the flora and fauna of Fiji, I’m guessing there are other accounts you could follow other than the one’s PASTOR1 was following.
In addition he was following a YouTube channel for a year or more, and that’s why he chose to follow some of the Instagram accounts (one of which is in the document). That YouTube channel is not family friendly; [REDACTED] watched it for a while and then it turned non-family friendly and he switched to another sailing channel, and apparently in the comments of that new channel others would comment on how the other one became nonfamily friendly. I’ll give you the name of the sailing channel (and thus the hashtag he followed on Instagram) but when I checked out a few of the videos on YouTube a while ago, YouTube began “suggesting” some pretty unsavory videos to me for a while. So following that sailing channel clearly had additional baggage with it. I think the YouTube channel is called “Sailing La Vagabonde”.
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You will recall, PASTOR1, that you sent me an email, which contained the following:
You received a letter from the church. You are under Church Discipline which massively limits my interaction with you... See Matthew 18:15-21 and 1 Corinthians 5:9-12. If you would like our
relationship to be restored, you will need to go through the Elder Board here at Canyon Hills. I joyfully submit to their wisdom, oversight and protection which has proven to be extremely valuable given your recent accusations against me. Biblically speaking, you are a dangerous man for me to counsel.
PASTOR1, of course, if you truly feel these are not sexual accounts it begs some important questions:
Why would you boast about the elders’ “protection” if what you were involved in was not smutty?If they were just pictures of puppies and parrots and pineapples surely elder “protection” would not be necessary for that?
Why would you unfriend me on Facebook?
Why would you seek to create a narrative of any sort with my wife?
In a rather interesting development, I am friends with a man, whom you and a few of the elders know, and he told me recently about how he was interested in finding a sailing channel / series to follow. He has a daughter around 16 or 17 years old who told him that there are a couple channels on YouTube, but that she didn’t want him to follow the “Sailing La Vagabonde” channel because it had a woman in a bikini – and so she suggested another family friendly channel. If a young woman has this level of discernment you can only imagine how women of her caliber would respond to your following “Sailing La Vagabonde” for a year or two (according to your own email to me) as well as your other Instagram content, which included nearly seven different inappropriate accounts in addition to a hashtag or two. If this YouTube channel offended this young woman’s sensibilities, you can only imagine what her response (and those similar to her) would be to the totality of your content consumption. It’s not clear to me why the elders protected it and why you are apparently seeking to minimize it.
In my letter I also explained why / how I now have a version of the file:
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Here’s why I still have a copy of the file
As you can see by my initial email to PASTOR1, I went straight to him. This was on a Sunday.
The next day, Monday, I got an email from PASTOR3 Morgan, cc’ing PASTOR1 and PASTOR2, that they received the email (because PASTOR1 included them on his reply back to me) and that they were taking this seriously and would look into it, etc.
I never heard more from them and I never asked for more information. About 3 weeks later I realized that this could cause some real damage and so I didn’t want to keep the document at all. So I deleted it and all traces of it and sent an email to CHCC telling them the document has been deleted.
In reality, I had no further need for it.
They never acknowledged that email.